ARGH.

I never knew I'd say this, since Math is my forte and all but...I HATE MATH. Because it's taught by an ancient dinosaur. Because...because Math paper was a killer just now? Well it IS. And Physics? Just when my love for it is growing...I wish I had followed my instincts. I should have divided 32mm by 2, but I wasn't all sure so I cancelled it. I followed my logic, but I shouldnt cos I am ILLOGICAL.

I wish I can seek comfort in knowing that it's just Block Tests. Well, I seriously can't. I am underperforming, I dont know why, but I can feel it. And after this Block Tests, I swear I'm gonna mug mug mug, and mug mug mug, just like the 2 anomalous cases in 05S223. Fuck I oughta be shot. I still can afford to be mean at times like this.

But seriously...after Physics I rushed home because I hate people to see me breakdown and cry. I look horrible.

Chemistry, I'm depending on you. Make me happy.

And 2 hours of extra Physics classes, count me in.

I hope all this blood (soon) and tears is fucking worth it.

Einstein, I hate you. I hate Newton. I hate hate hate hate Physicists, you guys are the most boring bunch in the entire universe.

And wake up Jannah. Mug + mug + mug doesn not equate to fascinating grades. Grrr.

Convo with Uncle Adam. Sometimes I dont know whether to laugh or knock my head against the wall each time I talk to him,nyehh.

Adamnation says:
forget mos, its damn crappy. you want to be an adult, i'll bring you to a better place

Bintang Andika "i know,right?" "努力读书!" says:
and where`s this betta place??

Adamnation says:
mosque

Bintang Andika "i know,right?" "努力读书!" says:
/smirk

Seclusion period is so short. 3 days without net and handphone...OK lah fair enough.

I need to, URGENTLY, :

*really memorize acid and nitrogen cpd...i cant seem to get them inside my teeny brain
*do thermo in depthly, if there's such a word
*attempt the past block tests for chem
*and ditto for math

Love motivates me.

During seclusion, I caught up with my paternal grandparents. Loyal readers of my blog will know how my relationship is with them. In fact, my own parents, esp Daddy, was surprised when I told them I want to visit them. So yeah...I guess all the more I should treasure/spend more time with them before it's too late. I've already lost my maternal granpa, someone whom I love dearly...I'm never good at expressing my feelings but yeah, I miss him heaps. He left us for a better world when I was in P6...and at that age, I...I don't know. I never knew the value of having close bonds with anyone. I didnt know that nobody is not gonna be with me forever. I never knew death. It's only when they're gone that you start to treasure them and that's exactly when "I should have"s attack. So yeah...if you have someone, especially who's blood related, who's getting on your nerves, do remember that they're all you've got. Nobody can replace them should they die before they wake.

Ok, no more emo, no more emo.

Congrats to RP's Dragonboat team for making it to the finals. My best friend is in it okay. That's why they're in the finals. I love you too Di!

The advertisement for April's issue of 17 is out. And I see my face smack in the middle of the ad! It's so weird seeing me in there, haha. My long time friend actually noticed and asked if that was me. Haha Lydia, you're so obervant!

OH and another OMG news: Willy MIGHT be staying at my Uncle's place! Which is near where I live. Very near. Say, 2 bus stops away? This means I can go out with him everyday. Ok. Yah. I said "might". Cant get too excited. And I havent even told Willy about this. But yay! The thought of it, if it's confirmed, is just so...astounding! Omgomgomgomg.

Wow...I'm listening to the acoustic version of Cannonball by Damien Rice. I feel so calm and serene. The weather doesn't really coincide with the song (it's blazing hot) but oh well, what can I do.

School was damn great cos there's not much peeps. Peaceful man. I managed to cover P&C, MI and Functions. Damn Functions, I hate it to bits. Went home at 2pm and ate. Oh oh HANA! Thanks so much for the LOVE danglings! According to her it's my belated b'day gift. Like what, 5 months delay? But I love it nonetheless :D And thanks for buying the black nail polish, will pay you back soon. Actually you can just take it from my wallet lah dear.

I want to see Rivermaya tomorrow.. ): Damn, I hope all this sacrifice is fucking worth it. I wish Willy is here right now. So that we can see Rivermaya together, duhh. Speaking of him, I gave him a buzz this morning :) It's official, he's coming down in July. I'm still trying to find accomodation for him. "Nothing too ex, nothing too cheap," says he. I knowww. I hope I can give him a list of place to stay by the end of this week. Yay I love having visitors! Remind me of the time when I first met Nadear and Pik :D If you are reading this, HI! I missed you! So yeah, meeting Willy Wonka is something that is motivating me to hold on...

Hmmm I'm thinking of using my LJ account. Cos some entries can be protected. At the moment I find this girl super irritating. Thinks she's so cool. Poseurs, hate them. La-dee-daa~~ but I'm too lazy to change the layout and whatnots. Hinthint. Any takers?

Agnes Monica is sizzling stuff! Suaranye sedap bangatttt! I watched her performance of Britney's Overprotected with Siti and I personally think Siti can't do English pop..or pop in general. She can only sing traditional Malay songs. Must be her choir-like voice. But whatever lah ok, I am not her fan even though I admit I like her ballads. Agnes has a powerful voice, I think she overtakes Siti's voice in the song! Go to youtube.com and type in Agnes Monica. Yeah go watch and see for yourself.

"You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on.."

After much ponder on Physics chapters 19 & 20, I decided to update my Friendster and AG. And Blogger of course. I think I've been neglecting them, haha. I want to upload my pictures but they're too big! Some of them. And I seriously have no mood to edit/resize ): So I just uploaded what I can lah...A bit pissed cos I thought I could do those in an hour..But look at the time now, it's almost 10..a bit behind my schedule..Grrr..

Siighs, this may sound ridiculous but I thought that I handled GP pretty well...until I told my Dad what I wrote. He shot me a question: "So how do you define 'leaders' as? It could be leader of a state, or leader of a group, or even leader of a family. Surely you dont assume...do you?" My eyes went wide and I shouted HOLY CRAP! ...I forgot. I mean I did elaborate a bit, but not really emphasize on it. Shit lah, I think my content is rather strong but the first step is already blurry..Stupid me. Yah.

Anyway on a happier note, I bought new lingeries! Yay okay shan't elaborate further.

Hmmm..Yours truly is in the latest issue of 17! Page 113 (this is whacky!) Haha..if you are someone close to me I'm sure you know who I am referring to in that question. The random guy who answered it, Hamza, is really mature...and he's only 18..wait lemme re-check...OH HECK NO. He's 21! Okay this is the damn final straw. Guys in their late teens are a BIG NO-NO. Yeah well back to the point, I guess I gotta get over it. He's nothing more than a phony. I'm so gonna show him that I don't need him. Siighs. To think that I trust him, tell him everything...percumalah. Do I trust people easily? I thought I have a heart of a stone. Yes Di, I see you nodding. But deep down, deep down inside...I am not. Okay Di, I see you nodding more vigourously =p Okay stop digressing! My love life is a sad one. Yes it is...to see people couples happily in love, be it in college or outside is so depressing. And I'm almost 18 lah. I'm not saying that I'm desperately in need of a guy but if you look in an another perspective...Sometimes you just feel weird. Like is there anything wrong with me? Oh well. I'll say what I always say when I'm lonely: Local guys aint worth it. One day you'll marry a prince and live in a huge mansion and your prince will serenade you every night and he cares for you day and night and love you even when you look/act horrible esp during menstruation and you'll have 3 lovely kids and live happily ever after. Fuck this entry is going nowhere. Tsk tsk.

Still trying to maintain the happy note, I watched Dia last night!One of the best Monday nights ever. And I dont need an orgasm to achieve that. WAHAHA! Now I want to date those Indonesian mix mix guys. Hahaha..Eqa and Randy. And Maro from the series Bintang every night at 7pm. Goodness gracious me, I'm an Indo freak. But it's the thing that makes me happy for now.

I just randomly typed West Grand Boulevard on youtube and WOOHOO I didnt know some gig vids are uploaded there. But there's no Flights of Fancy ):

I'll be going to skl tomorrow...To revise..collect some Chem stuffs...and pay my library fines so that I dont have to bother and rely on Adam for his card, hehe. I need to buy black nail polish as I've run out of it...and I'm thinking of piercing another hole on my right ear...Oh and I trimmed my hair :D Feel so refreshed, heee!

Ok, back to work back to work! I have heaps of stuffs to do, I will not be bothered by affairs of the heart! More better stuff awaits me! And guys, I'll be out of town from Thursday onwards. I need a seclusion so I can focus more.

I am feeling so guilty!

On our way to the first lesson, I commented to Izam that "Ino is very bising (noisy)" . Thanks ah Adam, he sorta echoed that loudly to Ino. Ino knows that that sorta comment always comes from me, so he pretended to get all merajuk and that's how the bet started. The bet which states that if Ino can keep quiet from the beginning of our period till the last, he'll get a dollar. Initially it was 55 cents but yeah it kinda developed along the way. While our day was peaceful, it kinda feel funny without Ino's redundant comments that makes you wanna sweat real bad in a super cold room. -_-'' Ok that is so Singlish.

He kept to himself during lessons, disappeared after recess and towards the end of our last lesson his face looked like he's gonna explode! It was so hilarious! In a way him not talking is a bit kesian, heehee. I felt so guilty cos I indirectly started it! But eventually, he got his dollar. 4 dollars. One from each of us.

After Chem re-test Me, Ino, Adam went to the library. I borrowed this book called Thinking About Race. My cup of tea :) Then Adam left, so me and Ino went to the computer room. We IM my sis rAi, and fought over a keyboard *smirks* It was funnylah, both of us are trying to use the keyboard and the screen suddenly went "Preparing to go stand-by" Hahaha, can't stop laughing! After that, Ino left and I started to study!

Speaking of studying, maybe one of these days I want to mug at the Esplanade library. It's been ages since I last go there! Oh and I want to go to Bangkok to watch MAA! Please please!

I don't know where to begin.

I scored badly for Chem test...got an F. The first F for Chem in my entire JC life. Fine, there's a first time for everything but...whatever lah ok. Yah you can seek solace from this. Competitive bastards.
It's more worst when your fav tutor assumes that you didnt study for it. What the fuck la, I studied for it ok? Basket re-test. I hate this.

I'm not gonna let this dampen my spirit for Block Tests. I'll turn the tables, just wait.

After school I dragged Isk to the library so that I can return the library book. It's called God,Reason and Religion. It's influential thats why I returned it. But quite interesting to a certain extent. Now I know the mind a person who doesnt believe the existance of God and his arguments. Isk seemed interested and we engaged in a discussion about religion....which lasted no more that 5 mins, heh. Then we had to leave cos the library closes at 6 so I shifted to the study benches to, well, study. Quite productive, about 5 P&C tys questions done in 30 mins. So happy.

I need to work on my Integration again. Thus I am giving Rivermaya's free concert a miss and mugg for the one week break. Sad sad sad sad sad sad sad. I cant believe I'm doing this. Argh!

I think I'm quite restless today. Random.

I didnt see my J1 eye-candy. But life without J1s is the bombz. No rushing to canteen, no long queues to the loo...

Back to my books. So sleepy...

And I enjoyed spending my time with you! It's so silly that we got humoured by the word "long". Of all words we should get amused at...

"..if i was a rich girl, lalala.."

Oui, you guessed it. I'm blogging using my `rents' PC. Gawdd, the bed is so cosy, I feel oh so luxurious. I want a master bed in my room too! Ehh. Master bed. Say this quickly, kinky stuff! Master bed in my room. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Pardon me, I'm not usually uhmmm, naughty. Whatever.

Anyways, haha, stop laughing. Rivermaya's scheduled to perform for Mosaic Festival, 17th March at 10pm. Anyone be a dear to pei wo watch them perform? I know everyone would prolly be mugging but...-sighs- Which leads me to this: Should I go? Or rest at home? I've been out relatively a lot, let's see, for 2 months I've been to Rock 4 Good, hang out with bestfren, Blast at the Beach, Fort Minor, and swimming outing. I told myself that my next "merayap" session will be after Block tests. But it's Rivermaya...(and free too, how about that?) Boo. >_<

My upper part, especially the arms and chest area is so painful! It's aching at the moment and I cant seem to reach out to get objects in front of me!

Weeee I finally have the song by David Usher, thanks to Adam!

It's Moulin Rouge tonight! I want to lock myself from the real outside world and savour the sweet nothings of the movie. The last time I cried in a movie was KingKong. I need a good cry. :)

The end.

"Nothing you confess
Can me me love you less
I'll stand by you" - The Pretenders

O-Town - All Or Nothing

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